He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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