no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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