I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
