i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
bring money and cleavage
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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