Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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