boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
