we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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