yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
