woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
