im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
