hell yes lets make some ravioli
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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