you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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