Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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