Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
