its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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