We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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