my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
