alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
