I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
