I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
