So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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