when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
