I forgot how hot balto sounded
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
