I wish life had little blips of pornography
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
