im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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