People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
