All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
