He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
