why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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