I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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