win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
