We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Too much gin, very little bucket
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
