You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize