he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Jerry, you need to find god
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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