But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
