come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
