she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
