he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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