Your face is a jimmy john
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize