What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
