it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
