We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
