she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So many bounce houses so little time
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
