Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
two words: eviction party
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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