I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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