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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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