she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
