i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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