Yo dont text me then not text me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
