Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just google imaged poop.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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