I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
