so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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