Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
