dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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