jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
