are you so shy because you have an std?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
