I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
