this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
