Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
