You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
look no pants
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
