He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just forgot I was standing up.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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