i think my mom watched the whole time
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
