so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
